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Friday, August 27, 2010
Pine River-City of Progress and Promise
Advice from a pine riverian
So. 1. couldn't be more excited about the resurfacing of the blog. i actually have several un-posted entries just waiting to find their glory in cyberspace. but more importantly 2. i feel as the current pine river resident that i should throw a little advice towards the others that will be joining my quaint yet extremely small, close minded community. since i already used numbers...this list gets letters:
a. yes i still have my obama bumper sticker on my car. so if i drive and we go somewhere yes we will get dirty looks. especially at fleet farm. chris. don't wear a wisco shirt there either...i once had to listen to my friend sean talk his way out of a wisco/mn argument at the same fleet farm.
b. i once was called a stupid hippie at moonlight bay in crosslake...i was denied access...word to the wise. don't wear tie dye shirts to moonlight.
c. if you get pulled over be sure to say "i grew up up here and now had to move to the cities for work" they like that better than "i am here on vacation staying at a lake house".
d. the only acceptable coffee drink to get at pine peaks restaurant (the good breakfast place in crosslake) is regular, black, straight out of the pot coffee. no lattes. no mochas. no cinnamon dolce creme frappuccino with extra foam and extra cinnamon. if you disobey, your eggs will for sure have spit in them.
e. lastly slow the fuck down. we do not need a schedule. you don't need to get up at a certain time, go to bed at a certain time or start drinking at a certain time. it is ALWAYS 5:00 pm somewhere and the lake is the place that it is always 5:00 pm.
i am sure more will follow. but this will get you guys in the front door. with any luck the girl i graduated from HS with that tried to rob a bank with a bicycle as a getaway vehicle won't be out and about this weekend....but if she is...just remember if you throw something at her tire, she will fall and return to you your stolen items....
a. yes i still have my obama bumper sticker on my car. so if i drive and we go somewhere yes we will get dirty looks. especially at fleet farm. chris. don't wear a wisco shirt there either...i once had to listen to my friend sean talk his way out of a wisco/mn argument at the same fleet farm.
b. i once was called a stupid hippie at moonlight bay in crosslake...i was denied access...word to the wise. don't wear tie dye shirts to moonlight.
c. if you get pulled over be sure to say "i grew up up here and now had to move to the cities for work" they like that better than "i am here on vacation staying at a lake house".
d. the only acceptable coffee drink to get at pine peaks restaurant (the good breakfast place in crosslake) is regular, black, straight out of the pot coffee. no lattes. no mochas. no cinnamon dolce creme frappuccino with extra foam and extra cinnamon. if you disobey, your eggs will for sure have spit in them.
e. lastly slow the fuck down. we do not need a schedule. you don't need to get up at a certain time, go to bed at a certain time or start drinking at a certain time. it is ALWAYS 5:00 pm somewhere and the lake is the place that it is always 5:00 pm.
i am sure more will follow. but this will get you guys in the front door. with any luck the girl i graduated from HS with that tried to rob a bank with a bicycle as a getaway vehicle won't be out and about this weekend....but if she is...just remember if you throw something at her tire, she will fall and return to you your stolen items....
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The Beginnings of Operation Pine River (OPR)
The First Email
Hello,
So I am crazy excited about this weekend! Crazy excited!
So I will pick up our precious cargo coming from Washington D.C. tomorrow night. I will then haul the cargo to my house where it will rest until we leave for the cabin.
What time are Kathleen and Nate leaving?
Mike, what is your estimated time of departure?
Kathleen and Nate, what do you need us to bring?
Kathleen and Nate, can you bring our bags set?
Chris, don't forget to pack you panties.
Alli, I will be expecting my Gaga outfit all ready and dry cleaned upon my arrival.
Did I miss anything?
-Jana
The Second Email
The cargo is very excited to see everyone! Let me know what I can bring or pick up.
-Kristi
The Third Email
I thought cargo was spelled "Pcargo"
-Nate
The Fourth Email
So I just did a background check on Pflanz, to see if she had the security clearance she needed for Operation Pine River. Three items came up that raised some red flags.
1.) In the 90's Kristina owned a flamingo fleece. Such fashion faux pa has not been exhibited in the Brainerd Lakes area since. And per request of Crow Wing County, if the flamingo fleece is spotted, please capture and call law enforcement immediately.
2.) Her leisure activities include, foreign travel, ski bob and eating cereal without milk. Such lifestyle oddities should be noted.
3.) Kickballs cause Ms. Pflanz great bodily harm. Please keep all kickballs out the reach of Ms. Pflanz.
Please perform your own background checks. If anything more alarming comes up, please notify me immediately.
Thank you,
Jana
The Fifth Email
hi!
DO NOT BRING MILK! i have like 8 extra cases in my fridge/freezer from camp...also lots of carrot sticks so don't bring those and i have some cucumbers... I am SO pumped you are all coming up here...i just got done with camp yesterday and am currently feeling a little fried out but i will rebound by friday. also, we left one of our good ski boats in the lake so i expect to see some rockin' skiing going on.... woop!
DO NOT BRING MILK! i have like 8 extra cases in my fridge/freezer from camp...also lots of carrot sticks so don't bring those and i have some cucumbers... I am SO pumped you are all coming up here...i just got done with camp yesterday and am currently feeling a little fried out but i will rebound by friday. also, we left one of our good ski boats in the lake so i expect to see some rockin' skiing going on.... woop!
-Alli
The Sixth Email
HA!
Oh god, I missed you guys... and she's right, keep the kickballs away from me.
Oh god, I missed you guys... and she's right, keep the kickballs away from me.
-Kristi
The Seventh Email
also. on the pflanz background check it was noted that movie goers at the jenkins theater complained of a obstacle that was "impenetrable" while attempting to view a movie..it was later found to be her hair on a humid day. perhaps we should make sure to use some no more tangles when we do our lake baths...
-Alli
The Eighth Email
I would just like to note that I am missing the Glenn Beck tea party rally here in DC this weekend to see you guys. I must love you a LOT.
-Kristi
Meet Kristi
Just when you thought that the exciting adventures of the 6 young professionals was over...we have decided to embark on another adventure!
And we have added 1 professional to our entourage.
Meet Miss Kristina Pflanz. Aliases include: Pflanz, Ti & Kristi.
She is our super smart friend, who always remember the most embarrassing stories from our childhood. She currently resides in Washington D.C.(she was raised Clive, IA) with some super secret job for the government, with some fancy title that no one can ever remember. Most of us have known her all of our life. Her most memorable attribute is her hair. Her most memorable article of clothing-the flamingo fleece. Be rest assured that as soon as a photograph of the fleece surfaces, it will be posted.
She will be along with us for Operation Pine River. Also joining us will be some of your favorite characters from the great RV trip; Alli, Kathleen, Nate, Mike and Chris. And of course myself.
And we have added 1 professional to our entourage.
Meet Miss Kristina Pflanz. Aliases include: Pflanz, Ti & Kristi.
She is our super smart friend, who always remember the most embarrassing stories from our childhood. She currently resides in Washington D.C.(she was raised Clive, IA) with some super secret job for the government, with some fancy title that no one can ever remember. Most of us have known her all of our life. Her most memorable attribute is her hair. Her most memorable article of clothing-the flamingo fleece. Be rest assured that as soon as a photograph of the fleece surfaces, it will be posted.
She will be along with us for Operation Pine River. Also joining us will be some of your favorite characters from the great RV trip; Alli, Kathleen, Nate, Mike and Chris. And of course myself.
A Lot Has Happened Since We Left Yellowstone
Oh Yellowstone. Why did the bear kill a man in Yellowstone in July, not June when we were there? Why did an escaped murderer hide in Yellowstone in August, not June when we were there?
The only bear we saw was from the safety of our binoculars. The only criminal we saw was Professor Plum in the kitchen with the rope.
Please note that we may have been closer to seeing a criminal than a bear. There were reports of a guy in a sombrero who tried to kidnap 2 kids from the campsite bathroom in pouring rain.
The only bear we saw was from the safety of our binoculars. The only criminal we saw was Professor Plum in the kitchen with the rope.
Please note that we may have been closer to seeing a criminal than a bear. There were reports of a guy in a sombrero who tried to kidnap 2 kids from the campsite bathroom in pouring rain.
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