Everything I Learned About RVing, I Learned From Spirit #27, Formally Known as Spirit #28

The group practicing the pull out method in South Dakota.
See #9 for clarification.

1.) When they tell you to put the Campa-Chem in the RV toilet after every dump (not pooping, but after every time you empty the "black tank") they are NOT kidding. Failure to do so may result in an unpleasant stale tuna (the fish) smell.

2.) Fresair, the generic of febreez is a MUST (check your local Big Lots). Nothing covers the stench of campfire, sweaty feet, boys and farting better! We are down to a quarter of a bottle as of now.

3.) Bubble wrap and put your french press in a box after every use. We are on french press #2.

4.) Road legs. Just like people have sea legs you get road legs. After being in the RV for just a short time you will notice that gas stations, coffee stands and restrooms feel like they are moving. Despite what your legs are telling you, they are not.

5.) A mobile AC outlet is clutch! Electrical outlets don't work when the RV is in motion. So you cannot use your straightener or your electric shaver while driving through the national parks, or anywhere else for that matter.

6.) Purell. Swine Flu is an avid concern in close quarters.

7.) Kiss your significant other good-bye as you leave your house to go on a RV trip. Even if they are coming with you. One leg spasm rocks the entire RV.

8.) Bring an Atlas! Atlases are cool, they give you the BIG picture.

9.) The Pull Out Method. Scenic pull outs are scattered around all around the country. Take advantage of them. Pull out every time. We have found the pull out method to be 100% effective.

10.) When driving the RV, remember, "it's not a Cavalier!"

11.) Binoculars, Binoculars, Binoculars! Whether you want to spy on the couple four campsites down or seek out wildlife, I have one word for you, binoculars!

12.) Make sure you like, even love the people you are with. If you don't, remember the song..."if you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with."

Eat the local fare. See #26 for specifics.

13.) Roadwork is not a RV friend. Proceed with caution. Watch for shattering coffee cups, and beware when using the bathroom.

14.) Don't load up on sunblock. Doing so will result in 7 days of rain, and no pot of gold at the end of the rainbows.

15.) Abuse the free literature. Two days into your trip you will already know everyone's life story (as they see it), then people just start making up stuff, like how the Canadian goose population plummeted when they started mating with the American goose population.

16.) KOA campsites are expensive, cheesy and resorty. On the other hand they have nice bathrooms, with music. At least the one in Cody, WY did.

17.) Make sure you know exactly what time you need to return the RV. Some people's 5:00 may be someone else's 4:00.

18.) Poor life decisions can be made on RV trips. See #17.

Practicing #12 at Yellowstone National Park.

19.) Every RV needs a designated junk drawer. Don't know where to put it? Junk drawer! Don't know where it is? Junk drawer!

20.) Every RV needs a liquor cabinet. Our's contains booze, a purse, a cell phone charger and pop-tarts.

21.) Don't forget to bring a towel. Towelie is our towel of choice.

22.) No pooping in the RV toilet. Exceptions can be made though, for example consuming too much buffalo. For more details ask Kat.

23.) To eliminate the possibility of taking over the driving responsibility, crack a beer, then another one and then another one. Follow with a bottle of water, just to show that you "would" drive.

24.) Mountain Due is the RVer's soda of choice. It is a soda that no one admits drinking, but everyone will drink it.

25.) The best RVwhich is a mini whole wheat bagel with peanut butter, sliced banana's and a touch of honey.

26.) Eat the local fare. When in Montana eat cow, when in Wyoming eat buffalo, when in South Dakota eat rocks, when in North Dakota eat at Olive Garden.

27.) And finally, one last thought to keep in mind, it's not the destination, it's the journey.